Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
