she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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