:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
