im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
