I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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