i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
