They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
