Whod you bang
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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