Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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