First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
