Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
