its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
