I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
