he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize