What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
