none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
