:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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