Little spoons don't ask big questions
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
