He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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