if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
