I faked an abortion last night.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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