Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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