TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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