My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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