Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
