ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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