He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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