Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
