what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
