We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
