Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
