Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
