There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
