I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
