The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
