i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
