ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
