You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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