Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
