You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
