About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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