Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
