i just had sex bonerless
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
