There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
