They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
