She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
