Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
