this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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