Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
