I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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