I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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