It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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